The Power of Support: How Leaders Affect Their Teams
No matter how hard I tried, nothing worked.
While I was the assistant general manager at a hotel I wanted what any leader wanted: a happy team, to impress my bosses, to delight guests and to feel good about my leadership. Instead, we had frequent “sick” calls, and I was distressed by the negative reviews from guests who picked everything apart. I ran ragged trying to pick up the slack and prove I knew what I was doing. Eventually, I learned that putting others first helped our staff and guests more than working harder. It even improved my well-being as a leader.
Support Creates Respect
One leader I worked with clearly has the respect of everyone on her team. When I conducted end-of-season surveys everyone raved about her. She earned respect through little things that were so inconsequential no one would think of them.
She helped out when it was busy
She ensured that everyone got the days off they requested
She gave little tips to make carrying four plates easier or demonstrated how to carry large platters.
She was great with guests and could please even the most irate person.
Though her actions were small, her message was big. She was willing to put her tasks aside to support her team because they mattered.
Support Through Mentorship
Support can mean more than just chipping in. For me, it once meant taking a different approach to critique.
One valet was extremely extroverted and adored by our guests. He was so engaging that he often attracted a group of staff idly chatting together—and ignoring our guests. I had been in their shoes and knew that some idle chatting is ok at the right time and can even build rapport. I didn’t want to be too hard, but I also couldn’t let it slide.
Submarine captain and author David Marquet suggests a different approach to critique. In his book Turn the Ship Around, Marquet points out that orders and lectures assume that the leader has all the information. Many times though, others also have important information. Marquet suggests using questions to invite dialogue so both parties can understand the situation and each other. With this in mind, I took the valet aside and asked him a few questions.
“What do you think your greatest strength is?”
“How might that also be a weakness?”
“How can you use your strengths to provide better service?”
The conversation was uncomfortable, but not critical or discouraging. The valet understood that I valued his hard work and outgoing nature and saw for himself what behaviour was acceptable or not. Because I was willing to coach him instead of just criticizing his behaviour, he grew and improved.
Support with Encouragement
A strong leader can support their team by letting them know when they do a good job. Each week I copied uplifting comments from guest surveys and posted them in our staff cafeteria. My goal was to create pride and a healthy sense of motivation to provide outstanding service. When staff got excited to read the new reviews each Sunday I thought things were going well. But then someone told me that the reviews conveniently neglected to praise the bartenders. How could this be? I just copy actual reviews and only the good ones!
Admittedly, the bartenders had lots of room to improve: they played the wrong playlists, guests said the service was slow, and it drove me nuts to see the bartenders serve drinks without a tray. With other departments, I screened the reviews and only selected the best ones. In hindsight, I was not as thorough in screening reviews for the lounge and allowed a few snarky comments in otherwise positive reviews to sneak through. I wanted to be uplifting, but also subconsciously wanted to point out where they should improve. This double strategy was not working.
The following week, I intentionally selected glowing reviews for all departments. I saw one of the bartenders give a little fist bump as he read the comments. Later he came to me and explained he was doing his best and had felt discouraged reading the reviews from disappointed guests. He elaborated that the layout of the bar made it really tough to polish glasses and that there was only space for one person to mix drinks at a time. These issues made it hard to keep up and provide the class of service that was expected.
After a little encouragement, the bartender showed ownership and a genuine excitement to do his best. To support him, I needed to pass along the good comments and be ready to listen and fix the real problems he faced.
Supporting a Leader’s Wellbeing
The real (and surprising) effect of putting my team first was that it also helped me. I learned to admit when I was wrong and listen to ideas. This showed everyone that I cared what they had to say, took the pressure off of me to know everything and gave us better service. I could leave work and not feel panicked that something might go wrong. It was so freeing! When problems arose, I felt more confident dealing with them and less like I had to prove myself.
My relationships at work also improved. I could joke around a bit and still be the boss. Work became fun! The more I focused on the needs of those I lead, the better I felt about my leadership and myself.
Support Makes it Work
It is amazing how much respect someone can earn by being truly selfless and assisting their team. I have seen how healthy it is for a leader to earn respect and be involved in day-to-day operations. When a leader can mentor a staff member through problems rather than critiquing, the nuanced outlook helps everyone improve. However, none of this can be a tactic. I had to learn to be genuine in my encouragement and motivation. Working hard wasn’t enough to get what I wanted. But when I put others first it all worked out.